Monday, August 28, 2006

Tough Job

A man goes into a sperm bank and says, "I'd like to make a deposit please."

The doctor says, "Go and fill this up," and gives the man a bottle.

Three days later the man returns to the sperm bank, marches into the doctor's office and says,

"I've tried with my left hand and tried with my right hand. My wife has tried with her left hand and her right hand. My mother-in-law has tried with a rubber glove on, my maid tried with her mouth, even my daughter's tooth fell out AND NONE OF US CAN GET THE TOP OFF THAT BOTTLE!"

String Theory

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."

The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends. A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here."

So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

The string replied instantly, "I'm knot!"

Inspiring Success

"It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men."
- Mae West

posted by Ivan at 10:48 PM