Sunday, January 28, 2007

Stick ’em up

Three men, Ah Beng, a Chinese, Ah Neh, an Indian, and Ah Mat, a Malay, were all sentenced to terms of life imprisonment for armed robbery.

Upon reaching the prison, the chief warden told them, "Since you are going to be here for a very long time, you can bring into the cell whatever you wish. Just tell me and I'll try to fulfil it."

So Ah Beng asked for a lifetime supply of cigarettes so he could drown his sorrows in smoke.

Ah Neh asked for a set of the Encyclopaedia Brittanica as he wanted to study his remaining life away, having never passed his PSLE.

Ah Mat, however, asked for a lifetime supply of tampons.

The warden was puzzled and asked, "What do you need tampons for?"

Ah Mat replied: "You never hear, is it? With the new tampons, you can go running, cycling, swimming......"

Today's Health Tip: Power Couple

For a powerful, arterial health-boosting combo, pair up orange juice and oatmeal at breakfast.

Phenolic compounds in oats work synergistically with vitamin C to inhibit a key step in the formation of arterial plaques, research has revealed.

Stir vitamin C-rich fruits such as strawberries, cantaloupe, or papaya into your homemade oatmeal, or serve it with a side of orange juice, to help keep your arteries clear.

Bizarre Holidays in January

January 1 is Get a Life Day

January 2 is Happy Mew Year for Cats Day

January 8 is National Joy Germ Day

January 16 is Get to Know Your Customers Day

January 19 is Penguin Awareness Day

January 21 is Rid The World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day

January 21 is also Squirrel Appreciation Day

January 22 is Answer Your Cats Questions Day

January 27 is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day

January 30 is Inane Answering Message Day

Mat and a Grenade

A. What do you do when a mat throws a grenade at you?
Q. Take the pin out and throw it back.

posted by Ivan at 2:33 AM