Sunday, October 07, 2007
Because i wanna blog again
1. What is more difficult for you,looking into someones eyes when you are telling him/her how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
- i'll be shy if our eyes meet
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry.
- i usually only get angry at myself and then i'll trash myself
3 . You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire
in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who would you call?
- my sis?
4. You are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live.
(1) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die?
(2) What do you do with your remaining days?
(3) Would you be afraid?
- 1)why not?
2) write a long letter to everyone close, or something
3) not really
5. You can have one of the following two things: trust/love. Choose one.
- love
6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you save the dog?
- maybe
7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her?
- if i want her forgiveness, then yes
8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say?
- RUN AWAY!! unless its a girl, then i might give her a go
9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but give one year of your life. do you do it?
- where's the sense in that? not for my grandfather..
10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
- if only i could, then we'd have endless hours of fun!
11. Does love = sex?
- no, but love => sex
12. Your boss tells your co-worker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your co-worker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company?
- what about my family? i'll go to the boss and offer to be the new boss
13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? What did you have to tell the person? Was it difficult??
- i don't remember, guess i've got it easy. maybe i've a boring life
14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?
- i don't love them back. unless its to a guy.
15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up?
- freedom
16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?
- i tell that to my fling(s)
17 . What is love?
- its a song
18. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. Who do you wish was there with you?
- my dream girl the guy outside is irreguardless
19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?.
- why the homeless? how'd i tell? is her/his face clean?
21. You are holding onto your grandmothers hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death?
- my grandmother, shes heavier. or if possible, i'll drop myself, i can't die.
22. Are you old fashioned?
- in certain ways..
23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did not expect anything back?
- most of the time.
24. Which would you choose, love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
- loved. it is the only path
25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
- i wanna have more guts
1. What is more difficult for you,looking into someones eyes when you are telling him/her how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
- i'll be shy if our eyes meet
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry.
- i usually only get angry at myself and then i'll trash myself
3 . You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire
in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who would you call?
- my sis?
4. You are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live.
(1) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die?
(2) What do you do with your remaining days?
(3) Would you be afraid?
- 1)why not?
2) write a long letter to everyone close, or something
3) not really
5. You can have one of the following two things: trust/love. Choose one.
- love
6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you save the dog?
- maybe
7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her?
- if i want her forgiveness, then yes
8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say?
- RUN AWAY!! unless its a girl, then i might give her a go
9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but give one year of your life. do you do it?
- where's the sense in that? not for my grandfather..
10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
- if only i could, then we'd have endless hours of fun!
11. Does love = sex?
- no, but love => sex
12. Your boss tells your co-worker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your co-worker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company?
- what about my family? i'll go to the boss and offer to be the new boss
13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? What did you have to tell the person? Was it difficult??
- i don't remember, guess i've got it easy. maybe i've a boring life
14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?
- i don't love them back. unless its to a guy.
15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up?
- freedom
16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?
- i tell that to my fling(s)
17 . What is love?
- its a song
18. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. Who do you wish was there with you?
- my dream girl the guy outside is irreguardless
19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?.
- why the homeless? how'd i tell? is her/his face clean?
21. You are holding onto your grandmothers hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death?
- my grandmother, shes heavier. or if possible, i'll drop myself, i can't die.
22. Are you old fashioned?
- in certain ways..
23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did not expect anything back?
- most of the time.
24. Which would you choose, love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
- loved. it is the only path
25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
- i wanna have more guts
posted by Ivan at 10:15 PM
Monday, March 26, 2007
Physics
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued.
"Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school."
The Worst Disease
A woman was very despondent over not having sex in quite some time. She was becoming agitated and worried that she might not ever find a new mate. In hopes of finding a solution to her problem, she decided to go see a Chinese doctor named Dr. Chang (a sex therapist) to see if he could help her.
When she arrived to his office, she told him her symptoms and he said, "Take off all your crothes and you crawl real real fass away from me on the froor".
She crawled to the other side of the room, and Dr. Chang said, "Now... you crawl real fass back to me", and she did.
Dr. Chang shook his head and said, "You haf read bad case of Zachary Disease... worse I ever see! That is why you have sex probrem".
The woman was completely confused and asked Dr. Chang to explain exactly what Zachary Disease was and he replied "Zachary Disease. That when your face rook ZACHARY rike your ass!"
The Older and Smarter Construction Worker
A young man at this construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone based on his strength. He especially made fun of one of the older workman. After several minutes, the older worker had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where you mouth is?" he said. "I'll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to the other building that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the young man replied. "Let's see what you've got."
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then nodding to the young man, he said with a smile, "All right. Get in."
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued.
"Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school."
The Worst Disease
A woman was very despondent over not having sex in quite some time. She was becoming agitated and worried that she might not ever find a new mate. In hopes of finding a solution to her problem, she decided to go see a Chinese doctor named Dr. Chang (a sex therapist) to see if he could help her.
When she arrived to his office, she told him her symptoms and he said, "Take off all your crothes and you crawl real real fass away from me on the froor".
She crawled to the other side of the room, and Dr. Chang said, "Now... you crawl real fass back to me", and she did.
Dr. Chang shook his head and said, "You haf read bad case of Zachary Disease... worse I ever see! That is why you have sex probrem".
The woman was completely confused and asked Dr. Chang to explain exactly what Zachary Disease was and he replied "Zachary Disease. That when your face rook ZACHARY rike your ass!"
The Older and Smarter Construction Worker
A young man at this construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone based on his strength. He especially made fun of one of the older workman. After several minutes, the older worker had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where you mouth is?" he said. "I'll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to the other building that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the young man replied. "Let's see what you've got."
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then nodding to the young man, he said with a smile, "All right. Get in."
posted by Ivan at 9:49 PM
Friday, February 23, 2007
CROOKED TEETH!
posted by Ivan at 1:48 AM
Monday, January 29, 2007
Ganesh and the Lotto
Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Ganesh for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray.
Oh Ganesh, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Bholaji goes back to the Temple. "Ganesh please let me win the lotto. I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.
Lotto night comes and Bholaji still has no luck. Back to the temple he goes. "My Ganesh, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order?"
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Bholaji is confronted by the voice of God: "Bholaji, buy a lottery ticket first."
How much chocolate do people buy for Valentine's Day (it's only a month away!)?
The fourth biggest holiday of the year for confectionery purchases. In order, the top three holidays for candy sales are Halloween, Christmas, and Easter.
Yo mama
Yo mama soo fat that when she went on an airplane it became a boat.
Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Ganesh for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray.
Oh Ganesh, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Bholaji goes back to the Temple. "Ganesh please let me win the lotto. I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.
Lotto night comes and Bholaji still has no luck. Back to the temple he goes. "My Ganesh, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order?"
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Bholaji is confronted by the voice of God: "Bholaji, buy a lottery ticket first."
How much chocolate do people buy for Valentine's Day (it's only a month away!)?
The fourth biggest holiday of the year for confectionery purchases. In order, the top three holidays for candy sales are Halloween, Christmas, and Easter.
Yo mama
Yo mama soo fat that when she went on an airplane it became a boat.
posted by Ivan at 1:37 AM
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Stick ’em up
Three men, Ah Beng, a Chinese, Ah Neh, an Indian, and Ah Mat, a Malay, were all sentenced to terms of life imprisonment for armed robbery.
Upon reaching the prison, the chief warden told them, "Since you are going to be here for a very long time, you can bring into the cell whatever you wish. Just tell me and I'll try to fulfil it."
So Ah Beng asked for a lifetime supply of cigarettes so he could drown his sorrows in smoke.
Ah Neh asked for a set of the Encyclopaedia Brittanica as he wanted to study his remaining life away, having never passed his PSLE.
Ah Mat, however, asked for a lifetime supply of tampons.
The warden was puzzled and asked, "What do you need tampons for?"
Ah Mat replied: "You never hear, is it? With the new tampons, you can go running, cycling, swimming......"
Today's Health Tip: Power Couple
For a powerful, arterial health-boosting combo, pair up orange juice and oatmeal at breakfast.
Phenolic compounds in oats work synergistically with vitamin C to inhibit a key step in the formation of arterial plaques, research has revealed.
Stir vitamin C-rich fruits such as strawberries, cantaloupe, or papaya into your homemade oatmeal, or serve it with a side of orange juice, to help keep your arteries clear.
Bizarre Holidays in January
January 1 is Get a Life Day
January 2 is Happy Mew Year for Cats Day
January 8 is National Joy Germ Day
January 16 is Get to Know Your Customers Day
January 19 is Penguin Awareness Day
January 21 is Rid The World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day
January 21 is also Squirrel Appreciation Day
January 22 is Answer Your Cats Questions Day
January 27 is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
January 30 is Inane Answering Message Day
Mat and a Grenade
A. What do you do when a mat throws a grenade at you?
Q. Take the pin out and throw it back.
Three men, Ah Beng, a Chinese, Ah Neh, an Indian, and Ah Mat, a Malay, were all sentenced to terms of life imprisonment for armed robbery.
Upon reaching the prison, the chief warden told them, "Since you are going to be here for a very long time, you can bring into the cell whatever you wish. Just tell me and I'll try to fulfil it."
So Ah Beng asked for a lifetime supply of cigarettes so he could drown his sorrows in smoke.
Ah Neh asked for a set of the Encyclopaedia Brittanica as he wanted to study his remaining life away, having never passed his PSLE.
Ah Mat, however, asked for a lifetime supply of tampons.
The warden was puzzled and asked, "What do you need tampons for?"
Ah Mat replied: "You never hear, is it? With the new tampons, you can go running, cycling, swimming......"
Today's Health Tip: Power Couple
For a powerful, arterial health-boosting combo, pair up orange juice and oatmeal at breakfast.
Phenolic compounds in oats work synergistically with vitamin C to inhibit a key step in the formation of arterial plaques, research has revealed.
Stir vitamin C-rich fruits such as strawberries, cantaloupe, or papaya into your homemade oatmeal, or serve it with a side of orange juice, to help keep your arteries clear.
Bizarre Holidays in January
January 1 is Get a Life Day
January 2 is Happy Mew Year for Cats Day
January 8 is National Joy Germ Day
January 16 is Get to Know Your Customers Day
January 19 is Penguin Awareness Day
January 21 is Rid The World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day
January 21 is also Squirrel Appreciation Day
January 22 is Answer Your Cats Questions Day
January 27 is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
January 30 is Inane Answering Message Day
Mat and a Grenade
A. What do you do when a mat throws a grenade at you?
Q. Take the pin out and throw it back.
posted by Ivan at 2:33 AM
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